Coping With Fear and Loss During This Pandemic
Our world suddenly has been turned on end and out of nowhere, we find ourselves isolated and unable to be in close contact with anyone, some of now working from home or newly furloughed or unemployed. Some still working and may be putting themselves and their family at risk. We are gripped with fear as we all are coming into realization that we know someone who is sick or has passed as a result of this virus. We do not know who is next, how long our lives will be disrupted from what may never be the same again. It is the unknown that is so feared from a thing that is virtually invisible, so not being able to see it we simply cannot know if it is still around or gone. Fear brings into the future which is not known. We ask “what if…?” Then our mind wanders after watching too much news and we become terrified. Obviously, we want to limit news exposure. Since the world is shut down, the only news is weather and Covid 19. We will not miss anything if we take a pass. We want to train ourselves to be in this very moment, such as the moment you are reading this. At this moment, that is all that is happening. We can anchor on the refuge this moment provides from all the fear that surrounds us. Now is safe. If you need to come back to this moment, try putting your finger in the air and waiting until you can tell which way the air is flowing. It will be very subtle, but can only be known now which is always neutral. My ‘Flow’ technique (available on my website, video page https:// herbcohen.one; or my YouTube Channel: Herb Cohen Flow, also brings us deep into the present, shutting down spinning thoughts and emotions. If fear has manifested nightmares and sleeplessness, EMDR can help put nightmares to rest. It is import to maintain structure in sleep and awake times. Follow the same times each day so your body relearns to follow that rhythm.
Grieving losses realized at this time are compounded by not having funerals. Funerals ritualize loss. We ritualize crisis events such as death or getting married or coming of age. Ritual help us process these events. Without Rituals loss becomes prolonged. We can go into denial and not process the pain of letting go. I can help people not only ritualize their loss but as an intuitive, can help them connect to their loved one and learn that death is only of the physical relationship. Our loved ones are very close to us even in death. We learn that our relationship can continue, but in a spiritual, rather than a physical way. That does change grieving and in a positive way.
There are some silver linings: we have time for things we hadn’t before, we are in more contact with people than before, even if it is though virtual means. Businesses may find savings in having employees work from home. Other business owners ere forced to be creative in adapting and may choses to sustain some these approaches. Having time alone with ourselves allows us to feel more and know who we are a little more. Things may come up we need to deal with, perhaps unfinished business from the past. If need be, I can assist with releasing unwanted baggage that no longer serves us.
Hopefully these tips can be helpful and if needed, I am available by phone or via virtual media, Facetime, Zoom, Skype etc.-Herb Cohen